Me n t a lHe a l t h C a r e r s . o r g

What about me?
Suddenly things may have changed in your home. You may not be getting enough sleep or enough food. You may feel no one's taking any notice of you. You may also feel that what you and your family is going through is a terrible nightmare and all you want is to have things return to how they were. You may feel the pressures of the world on your shoulders. All these feelings are natural and understandable. When someone is ill, it affects the whole family.

10 Tips…
1. Talk to someone you can trust about what is going on.
It can be a huge relief, and a release of stress, to be able to get things off your chest. It's very painful to see someone you love behaving bizarrely and you need support as much as your parent. This could be from another relative, a teacher, a good friend, a doctor. Or perhaps it could be a telephone helpline where you can choose to remain anonymous if you wish. Follow this link for some useful telephone numbers.

2. Try not to do everything on your own.
Perhaps you feel you are betraying a loved one if you let anyone else know what is happening at home. But you may feel ill yourself through lack of sleep or worry. Parents may need treatment which you cannot give. Get help from relatives or professionals like doctors or social services. Professionals are trained to help in these situations - it is their job. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

3. Look after yourself.
This is often easier said than done. You can spend so much time worrying about your parent, that you forget about yourself. But it means eating properly and sleeping as much as you can. It means continuing to do things you enjoy, like listening to music or going out with friends, because these things help you relax a bit and unwind. It is important to take time out for yourself, and not feel guilty about it - you are not superhuman after all. This can be hard to do but it is important for your own peace of mind. So try to stay in touch with friends - don't become isolated.

4. Learn as much as you can about your parent's illness and the treatment they receive.
This will help both you and them. Knowledge is power. It will help you deal with situation and know what to expect.

5. If your parent becomes seriously ill.
They may need to go into hospital. You may feel guilty about this; you may feel that somehow you caused the illness. Remember it is no one's fault. 1 in 4 people will have some kind of problem and perhaps your parent is one of the lucky ones. In hospital they will receive the attention and treatment to help them recover.

6. Sometimes it can help to help to keep a record of behaviour.
Sometimes bizarre fixed ideas are repeated with such belief that you can begin to doubt your own understanding! Such a record can also be used to help explain symptoms and behaviour to doctor.

7. Try not to argue with your parents when they are ill.
Again this is easier said than done. But try to remember that more often than not you
are arguing with the symptoms of their illness, you will only raise the tension in the house.

8. Expect less from your parent.
For a while they may seem less attentive to you, less interested in tidying up
the home or cooking etc. Gradually a new routine will emerge.

9. In times of crisis don't be afraid to ask for help from the family doctor,
social worker, or the police.
Again, they are used to dealing with difficult situations.

10. Give yourself a pat on the back from time to time.
What you are doing is difficult. But with all your hard work, your reassurance,
your understanding and support, you are helping your parent to get better.

What is mental health?
Living with mental health problems
What about me?
Treatment
Who can help?
Legal matters
And finally....
Useful addresses and telephone numbers

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